


When The Sun Rises

by sugacookiies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst to Fluff, GN Reader, Gen, Haikyuu x Reader, Matsukawa Issei Angst, Matsukawa Issei Fluff, haikyuu angst, haikyuu fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26374063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugacookiies/pseuds/sugacookiies
Summary: You and Matsukawa Issei find your ways back to each other, even when things drive you apart.
Relationships: Matsukawa Issei & Reader, Matsukawa Issei/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	When The Sun Rises

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is for @agaassi 4k follower event! Congrats babe!! I hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Beta: @pixxiesdust ilysm
> 
> Contains: Angst to fluff, inferiority, implied s*x, cancer mention as a metaphor, adopted daughter

[ Post Breakup - What does the first meeting look like? ]

The first time Matsukawa Issei sees you after the breakup, it’s entirely by accident. He somehow finds himself taking his morning run down a different path that seems too familiar for no apparent reason. That is, well, until he sees you come out of your house to walk your pet dog.

The damned animal has the nerve to sniff the air, and upon recognising Issei’s scent nearby, begins to bark excitedly. The tiny pomeranian yelps and jumps and tugs at the leash that you hold, despite how you attempt to coax Tofu into keeping quiet.

Matsukawa turns on his heel and runs before you can see him. Or that’s what he thinks, anyways. As you watch his rainbreaker-clad back disappear out of sight, you wish you have the courage to chase after him.

His worn sneakers relentlessly pound the pavement that’s still damp from last night’s rain. His breath leaves his lips in soft, quick puffs, and there’s a tiny thought in the back of his head that you’re the reason why his heart’s racing.

Matsukawa tries to focus on the burning in his thighs over the memory of your teary eyes the last time he saw you. The sun begins to peek over the horizon, and as its rays burn the morning mist away, the soreness in Matsukawa’s legs grow stronger.

  


[ Study Date - Was it voluntary? Did A force B into it because B hasn’t been productive? ]

You hate how Oikawa is… Oikawa. Despite the tension between you and Matsukawa, he still insists on acting as if everything’s alright and can be fixed. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, and try to ignore the fact that Matsukawa’s clicking his pen way too many times.

It’s a habit you know full well, and it means that he’s distracted. You know the exact reason for that.

You’re thankful that Hanamaki is a little more sensible of sorts, and is alright with sitting between you and Matsukawa. Your mind begins to drift from calculus and literature quotes. 

The study date is going to end around 6pm, but Matsukawa will probably stay to chat with the rest afterwards. Maybe they’ll grab dinner, maybe they won’t. To avoid getting on the same train as him, that means you’ll have to leave around 5.30pm just to be-

You snap out of your train of thought as Hanamaki slams his face into the table with a loud groan. He’s gotten yet another mathematics question wrong, and mumbles something about giving up. Iwaizumi smacks his head with his textbook.

You laugh, but your smile falters when your eyes meet with Matsukawa’s. You freeze. He looks away. He pretends as if nothing happened, and you avert your gaze a second too late. 

Why does your heart beat so quickly?

You replay the way he had looked away so effortlessly in your mind. You see his eyes slide from their focus on you almost fluidly, teeth still showing in a grin as he offers a tactful comeback to Iwaizumi. 

The more you try not to think of him, the more you do. You hate it.

  


[ Slow Burn - Why is it slow burn? Why are they not confessing yet? ]

Matsukawa doesn’t like the way your eyes linger on him still. How you watch him leave class straight away during break, or how you stare at him when the English teacher is getting a little too boring. 

Are you doing it on purpose? Are you doing it out of habit?

Matsukawa tries to reason with himself, of how the thumping in his chest whenever he sees you can’t mean something; anything. He tries to downplay Hanamaki’s attempts at cajoling him into asking you to be with him once more.

He feels like Tofu on that morning. Matsukawa’s head swims with thoughts that he drowns in. It’s a cancer of You that lays in him, festering and brewing without his knowledge, growing uncontrollably when he’s up all night.

You shouldn’t be so hung up on him still. Matsukawa shouldn’t be thinking of you still.

After all, he doesn’t deserve someone like you. You’re far too precious, and Matsukawa is terrified of dulling your luster. He aches to see you flourish with somebody more worthy of your time and affections.

Yet, despite all of this, Matsukawa desires to have you with him. He wants to be the one you look at with shining eyes and blinding grins, to whisper secrets into his ear at night as he holds you close, and he wants to be the one that owns your heart above all else.

He wants and he wishes and he dreams of a dream that he can never fulfill.

  


[ Tacenda - Definition: things that are not to be spoken about or made public, things that are best left unsaid. ]

You figure that if Matsukawa finds out of your feelings that are still warm, he’s going to silently beseech you to smother them once again with his smoldering stare. 

“Why don’t you find someone better?” 

You remember his nonchalance, hands shoved into his pockets, as he stared down at you with hooded eyes.

“Find someone who’s more worthy of you?”

You were taken aback by his words. Of course you were. You had been thinking that your relationship was smooth sailing. No major red flags had popped up, and minor quarrels had been resolved smoothly. You had spent about three years together, and you were nearing the end of your high school life when Issei had dropped that bomb on you.

The both of you yelled. You cried. He walked out of your room. 

He didn’t turn back.

You can’t tell him you still love him. You can’t tell him you cry yourself to sleep at night sometimes, thinking of how you had clearly missed so many chances to claim him. You can’t tell him you want him back, and desperately so.

The regret sinks deep into your chest, and you struggle to breathe a little more each time you think of him.

How can you not - when you remember the softness of his curls in your fingers, the warmth of his body against yours, and the way he used to look at you as if you were the only one in the entire world?

  


[ 3am Adventures Together - Who wanted to go out first? Did they sneak out? ]

It’s a Wednesday night when Matsukawa thinks of your pretty smile. He holds a polaroid up to the light of his phone, staring at the two of you. You’re pressed cheek to cheek, a playful grin on both your faces and matching summer festival masks on the sides of your heads. You have a Goodbye Kitty one, while Matsukawa has a red Strength Ranger.

A message notification pops up on his phone. It’s from you. Matsukawa feels his breath catch in his throat, and his finger opens it without hesitation.

He hasn’t texted you since a month ago, the day before he broke up with you. It’s jarring to see how quickly time flew by. Matsukawa didn’t have the heart to delete your messages. He snorts at the absurd contact name that he gave you, though he hasn’t changed it yet.

cheesy meatballz 🥵🍝: are you awake?

Matsukawa’s fingers hover over the keyboard and he weighs the pros and cons of replying to you. Something in him shoves him over the precipice, and for the few moments where he types out a response, Matsukawa thinks he doesn’t mind bearing the consequences of catching your heart in his hands.

You: Yeah, what’s up?

cheesy meatballz 🥵🍝: can you come down?

You don’t take long to reply at all. Matsukawa glances at the time on his phone. 3.15am. He shrugs on a hoodie and pads downstairs in his slides, not caring that it’s the witching hour and the Devil is definitely playing some sort of trick on him.

There you stand in your banana pajama pants and an old T-shirt of Matsukawa’s. He thinks his heart skips a beat when he sees you there, hair a mess and shivering in the morning wind. He’s forgotten how precious you look in his clothes.

“Can we take a walk?”

How can he deny you? Matsukawa silently insists on stuffing you into his hoodie, before the both of you start your walk down familiar streets with suppressed memories playing like a movie reel in your heads.

It’s that morning that your fingers find their way into his once more, and under the guise of the rising sun, Matsukawa swallows his anxiety as you give him a second chance.

He doesn’t want to make the same mistake again.

  


[ First date - Who asked who out? How did they go on a date? Where did they go? What did they do? ]

The first date that Matsukawa takes you out on after the both of you get back together is at the neighbourhood diner all Seijoh students frequent. It’s not the most romantic, but you don’t mind. You slide into the seat opposite him, sandwiched between the wall and another group of students.

Matsukawa orders for the both of you - he hasn’t forgotten your favourite dish yet. As you stare at him speak to the waitress and flash her a quick smile after, you can’t help but reach over and take his hand in yours. He seems a little shocked. Nevertheless, his gaze softens, and he squeezes your hand gently in response.

You feel like this is what you’re supposed to be doing for the rest of your life; watch Matsukawa remember the smallest things about you, have him hold you hand through every minute possible, and sit in comfortable silence with all the words you both know unsaid.

You engage in small talk. How was English class, did he get that exam question right? You fall back into a familiar rhythm of banter and Matsukawa feels his heart ease from tension. He melts into your touch, your laughter, and your love that you offer him so brazenly without fear.

You think that you can live like this forever, stuck in the diner with Matsukawa.

  


[ First I love Yous - Who will say I love you first? Will A say I love you and B takes longer to respond? ]

“I love you.”

You can’t help but feel blood rush to your cheeks, your glossed lips parted ever so slightly in welcome shock.

You’re on your fifth date since your reconciliation. Lying on the floor, you look over to see Matsukawa staring at you with as much affection as you had ever wished for. You hope you don’t look so stupid smiling like that, but you scooch over and place your lips on his, hands cupping Matsukawa’s cheeks.

His heart trembles in his chest, wavering in uncertainty, not wanting to cause any more damage to you. Yet, all is forgotten and forgiven as you kiss him.

Howl and his moving castle becomes background noise. The moon shines on as the both of you whisper the same three words over and over that night, coupled between heated kisses and hands that fold over each other like the wings of a bird after flight.

Matsukawa thinks he’s in heaven, and you’re an angel that he doesn’t deserve. He definitely doesn’t, but he’s going to do his damn best if you’ve chosen him to give your heart too.

He kisses you once more, swallowing your gasp of his name.

  


[ Calling Your S/O ‘Spouse’ For The First Time - What will their reaction be? Will they be surprised? Will they be uncomfortable? ]

It’s been years since, and the cracks that were formed then have been smoothed over. Matsukawa stands at the end of the aisle. His hair is done up neatly, handsomely, and you tear up from the proud smile that graces his features.

He thinks he might cry too.

Matsukawa watches you walk down the aisle with that bouquet of flowers you picked out in your hands. You’re gripping them so tightly that your fingers tremble, and you finally come to a halt in front of your fiance before the altar.

You begin your vows with a shaky voice. Matsukawa reaches forward as a tear rolls down your cheek, his own fingers unbending to his will to keep them strong for you. Though, he doesn’t fare any better when it’s time for him to speak his own.

“…with my faults and weaknesses, my shortcomings and my imperfections, I promise to share my joy and my strength, my love and my honour with you always. I pledge myself to you; to love you fully and wholeheartedly, to care for you through sickness and in health, and to take you as my partner for the rest of my life.”

As he rambles on, Matsukawa doesn’t notice the tears that drip from his eyes, far too focused on slipping the ring onto your finger and watching you bite on your lower lip so hard it might bleed. You brush his tears away with your thumbs.

You kiss him. 

Matsukawa feels like he’s on top of the world as he holds your hands in his, matching bands now adorning your fingers. 

  


[ Bringing Your Baby Home For The First Time - How will it be? Will they struggle? Will they have fun? ]

“She won’t let go of my finger, Issei,” you giggle, bouncing your newly adopted daughter in your arms.

It’s been a long process getting everything in order, but today, you can finally take Kiko home. She coos at you with her soft brown hair, kicking her tiny feet as you wiggle your finger in her grasp.

Matsukawa gently brushes back her curls, leaning down to kiss her soft forehead, before kissing you as well. He feels all sorts of emotions well up in his chest - there’s a familiar inferiority that arises. Though, now he knows that he just needs to try his best. 

On the car ride home, Kiko falls asleep in your arms, and you look ready to cry. Matsukawa has to pull the car over so that you can lay her in the baby carrier (though you don’t want to let her go) and wipe your tears.

He teases you about doing a literal baby shower with your tears. You roll your eyes.

  


[ Sending Them To School - What will their reaction be? ]

“Do you have your bento?”

“Yes, papa!”

“Your jacket and hand sanitiser?”

“Yup!”

“All your pencils and your water bottle?”

“I’ve got everything, papa, don’t worry!”

Kiko’s ponytails bounce as she walks, either hand holding onto you and Matsukawa. You sneak a glance over to your husband, who has his brow creased in worry. You know he’s worried - he always has been that kind of guy.

“Chill out, papa. Kiko’s got this, right, bub?”

“Right!”

Both of you stick your tongues out jokingly at Matsukawa. His cheeks turn pink and he chuckles, shaking his head as he looks away. 

“If you keep bullying papa like that, you’re not getting ice cream after.”

“No!”

Kiko cries in despair and pouts, her plump lips pursed into a straight line. There’s not much chatter after that, but both you and Matsukawa kiss her goodbye, watching the teachers lead the children into the school.

Matsukawa holds onto you a little tighter than he wants to. 

He relaxes that night, however, as Kiko excitedly tells you about the friend that she made in class and proudly shows off the octopus colouring she did. He kisses her forehead and ruffles her hair.

The octopus goes up on the fridge immediately.

  


[ Family Dinner - Slice of life ]

“I did it!” Kiko shrieks, and you along with her, as she waves the acceptance letter in the air.

The three of you are a jumble of bones as you squash each other into a hug. There are kisses, ruffles of hair, and Kiko starts crying. You’ve never been prouder of your daughter, who’s studied so hard to get into the university she wanted. You think she deserves it and so much more.

A celebration dinner is in check. 

The kitchen is filled with laughter and music as you pull ingredients together, defrosting them in advance for dinner. The octopus is still on the fridge, tentacles coloured out of the lines and googly eyes watching, albeit discoloured from time.

All of Kiko’s favourite uncles are invited, and Oikawa sits at one end of the table, joining through a video call. Iwaizumi threatens to disconnect him when Oikawa starts making fun of the little chub he might have gained.

Kiko’s cheeks are pink from laughter, and you notice the smile that never leaves Matsukawa’s face. You reach for his hand under the table and give it a squeeze.

The sukiyaki broth gets richer with more ingredients. The night stretches on as you chatter over dessert and drinks, but there’s no rush to clean up or for the rest to head back home.

Why chase the next milestone when you’re already content right here? You’re happy, and your heart is full as you’re surrounded by people that you love, and love you. You lean onto Matsukawa’s shoulder, and doze off to quiet murmurs of the next volleyball season.

  


[ Slice Of Life Misc. - Watching tv together, taking the dog on a walk, etc. ]

Things get a lot quieter when Kiko goes to university. It gets worse when she moves overseas to work. Though, it’s not like your little family is completely disconnected. You video call Kiko often, and sometimes you get a postcard or gift in the mail. She visits on special occasions too.

Matsukawa has taken to filling up the empty space with adopting Onion, as if the new shiba dog could ever replace Kiko (or Tofu). But each morning, it gives you a reason to take a leisurely walk with your husband as the sun begins to rise.

The old dog trots alongside you two, leash in hand, as you take your usual route through the neighbourhood. Not many people are awake at this hour. Matsukawa basks in the silence of the streets, save for a few birds and the rustling of the wind.

His wrinkly hand holds yours, an action that never fails to make your heart swell every time. You slow to a stop at the edge of the street, right before where you take a turn to return to your home. The road before you is clear of vehicles, and the sun begins to rise over the horizon of trees and scattered clouds. Matsukawa and you stand in contemplative silence, watching light spill through the sky. Onion pants quietly. 

The same sun has seen you through every phase of your relationship, and you suddenly feel so tiny in comparison to the big, wide world. Despite this, you realise how lucky you’ve been to end up with Matsukawa.

You’re thankful for that 3am walk when you made up. You’re thankful for him pulling intentional moves to reconcile your relationship. You’re thankful for the family he’s created with you. You’re thankful for all of the experiences that have led up to you standing where you are today.

There’s no one else you can wish for to replace the man standing next to you, although his hair is greying, and wrinkles crease his forehead. You think the white spots in his eyebrows are endearing, anyways.

Matsukawa kisses your temple. The light shines on you, burning through the morning mist, and he doesn’t think his heart can grow any larger to accommodate his love for you.

Another day starts - a day with Matsukawa Issei by your side once again.


End file.
